Whores Don't Like Competition
Please excuse me. I’m having an irony moment. There, it passed, just like a kidney stone.
Did anybody else notice the bizarre news that came out of Boise last week? The Joint Finance-Appropriations Committee of the Idaho House of Representatives voted to spend $60,000 from the state’s lottery profits to investigate the adverse impacts that Indian gambling casinos have on Idaho society. I’m sure you see my problem? Idaho is about to use its own gambling profits to harass a competitor. And, they’re doing it in the name of social good works. How noble!
I find it curious that these deep thinkers would choose to invest $60,000, that might otherwise be squandered on schools or construction projects, to hire a private contractor, who will be tasked with reinforcing a conclusion that the legislators have already formed free of charge. Since they already believe what they believe, what’s the point in paying some charlatan to tell them what they already think they know?
I can save the legislature a little money. Indian casinos are bad. They take money from fools and their families. My bill to the legislature for uncovering that little pearl of wisdom is a bargain at just $30,000. Just send me a check and use the change to buy schoolbooks or something.
No, forget that. I’ll take the whole $60,000 and give them two opinions for the price of one. Indian casinos are every bit as bad as the lottery tickets that the state sells – maybe worse.
Bill Roden, lobbyist for the Coeur d’ Alene tribe, referred to the committee’s vote as a part of “Indian tribal bashing day” in the legislature. “It's time for the state to grow up and recognize the needs the tribes have and what they're doing for their people," he moaned.
That gambling revenues enrich Indians is pretty thin moral justification for gambling. Using that logic, one could argue for Indian drug trafficking. It’s good as long as Indians turn a profit.
But, the real point here is that the state of Idaho lacks the moral credibility to criticize Indian casinos. As of this moment, the state fattens its own treasury by marketing powerball tickets. The odds against winning the powerball jackpot are roughly 80 million to one. To put that into perspective, you are far more likely to be struck by lightning, be eaten by a bear, or die in an airplane crash. For that matter, it is considerably more likely that the Earth will be struck by a catastrophic asteroid during your lifetime than you will win at powerball. Compared with what the state offers, a street corner three card monty dealer is a sure thing.
Nevertheless, Idaho peddles powerball tickets, largely to people who really cannot afford to waste their money gambling. How many Idaho school kids go to school every day with ill fitting, worn out shoes because their dad spends the family’s resources pursuing powerball dreams?
But Idaho doesn’t stop there. Idaho also sells about two dozen different scratch ticket games, some with names like “Frosty the Doughman,” “Motherload,” “Money, Money, Money,” and “Las Vegas Boulevard.” And if that weren’t enough, Idaho sells pull tab games that mimic slot machines.
And a few pompous, sanctimonious asses want to sponsor a study that will expose the dangers of Indian casinos? Physician, heal thyself.
Another issue to consider here is whether it’s even the state’s business how people choose to throw their money away. What’s to prevent a bunch of legislative puritans from deciding that the money people spend on cable television could be put to better use? Movies and comic books are another great waste of money that the state might want to look into.
In reality, Indian casinos probably offer a much better deal than powerball. Some people, I am not among them, obtain some entertainment value from pulling slot machine handles and rolling dice across a craps table. Perhaps the southern Idaho moralists think that if Indian casinos were outlawed, then everybody would learn how to pass a fun, wholesome evening playing charades, as they undoubtedly do. I would rather see a good musical myself, but not everybody shares my tastes and I would not presume to lecture anyone else on how they should spend their entertainment dollars.