And The Winner Is

The Coogler Award winners have been announced. The worst books of 2003 have been recognized. All the losers won. Even some losers who lost won.

"The Coogler Committee did consider giving a non-fiction award to Michael Moore for his "Stupid White Men," but that was before we actually read the book, and from its title, we were under the misapprehension that Moore had written a confessional autobiography. Actually, it is a good thing Moore's infantile book did not qualify in the non-fiction category. He is such a repellent self-promoter that he would probably be the first Coogler laureate ever to show up at the awards ceremony to claim his trophy and deliver one of his customary whines about the Bush Tyranny or how he was practically swept out to sea by an automatic flush toilet at a public amenity that is a grave threat to the nation's water tables."

But the big winner was Al Franken with his ironically titled tome, "Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right."