Kerry Attacks Bush On New Front

John Effing Kerry charged today that George W. Bush has allowed Iraq and Afghanistan to distract attention from the real danger facing the world, pissed off kangaroos.

"We have invested so much attention and resources into fighting terrorism that Bush has allowed the kangaroo threat to fester and burst onto th world." Kerry charged. "America hasn't been attacked in 3 years for crying out loud. Meanwhile, he has ignored the root causes of kangaroo unrest."