Top Ten Reasons To Belong To Al Qaida

5. You consider television dangerous but routinely carry ammunition in your robe.

4. You've never been asked, "Does this burka make my ass look fat?"

3. You were amazed to discover cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

2. You've never uttered the phrase, "I love what you've done with your cave."

1. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand but consider bacon unclean.