Global Warming, Sans Warming - The Gore Effect

There’s a little something missing from global warming these days – the warming part. Al Gore and his acolytes have has anointed global warming “settled science” and therefore above debate. This is a status that not even evolution or relativity has been granted, as each is still referred to a theory. Within the past year global warming skeptics have been compared to Nazi holocaust deniers and flat earth adherents.
Unfortunately for the global warming alarmists, science has not treated global warming as settled and has continued to collect data. And as instrumentation becomes more widespread, more accurate and more reliable, the data yielded has been more consistent with the skeptic’s view. Devout environmentalists naturally blame the instruments.
Beginning in 2003, 3000 automated temperature monitoring buoys have traveled around the planet, diving as deep as 6000 feet, taking the oceans’ temperatures at all depths and transmitting that information back to eager climatologists itching to issue yet another headline grabbing alarm. The difficulty is that the data shows that the oceans are not warming. That’s a problem, as those precious models that wrote the screenplay for Al Gore’s Academy Award winning movie state that between 80 and 90% of all warming should occur in the oceans. In fact, the buoys have measured a slight cooling.
Even the machines are heretics.
This past year was the Earth’s coldest in decades and wiped out a century’s worth of warming. The National Aeronautics and Space Administration, the Goddard Institute for Space Studies Land-Ocean Index, the University of Alabama at Huntsville, Remote Sensing Systems of Santa Rosa, California and the Hadley Climate Research Unit (United Kingdom), have all reported dramatic declines in global temperatures that essentially inverted Al Gore’s imaginary hockey stick graph.
Those who follow the news will recall that China suffered through its coldest winter in 50 years and experienced massive crop failures. This winter brought Baghdad, Iraq its first snow in memory and maybe in recorded history. Jerusalem saw multiple snowstorms. The southern hemisphere has also experienced an unusually cold year. South America’s winter was its coldest in 90 years.
Thursday morning’s spring blizzard on the Palouse is only the latest blast from our own long and relentless winter.
If I have learned nothing else from Al Gore, it is that nothing on this planet occurs without human intervention and any departure from the average is attributable to capitalistic planetary exploitation. I even heard a commentator on CNN attribute the Indonesian earthquake and tsunami to rising CO2 levels.
And so, I blame the cooling Earth on Washington governor Christine Gregoire. Barely two weeks ago, she signed a law mandating that the state reduce its greenhouse gas emissions to 1990 levels by 2020 and to 75% of 1990 levels by 2035. By 2050 Washington will only be allowed to produce 50% of that 1990 benchmark. To achieve that, greenhouse gas emissions would have to be reduced from current levels by 70%. All this is required to save us from global warming. Judging by the data cited above, the law seems to be working retroactively. When have you ever seen such results from your government?
Or perhaps the Palouse Clearwater Environmental Institute should be faulted for Thursday’s blizzard. Last January, PCEI scheduled a conference to “raise awareness about global climate change.” I was unaware that there was anyone left on Earth who still unaware of global warming. And I doubt that the conference would have attracted anyone who was not already a global warming fundamentalist, fully immunized against evidence to the contrary. The originally scheduled conference had to be postponed when a massive snowstorm buried the Palouse and forced both the University of Idaho and WSU to close for two days. And so, the conference was rescheduled for, you guessed it, last Thursday – blizzard day.
Some time ago, observers noticed that whenever Al Gore arrived to deliver a speech on global warming, abnormally cold weather followed him. It became known as the Gore Effect and the term has even made its way into the Urban Dictionary.
It seems that the more frantic global warming alarmists have become, the colder the Earth gets. When the Washington’s state government and local environmental activists can conjure up snowstorms, perhaps we could call it “Gore Effect outsourcing,” as an actual appearance by Al Gore isn’t even necessary anymore.
I need to conceive a way to market temperature credits.